Who the hell is “Velvate Brad”!?

Who the hell is “Velvate Brad”!?

It’s the man…the myth…the menace: It’s VELVATE BRAD!


OK so, if you’re new here, you may be asking yourself, “who is this mysterious character mentioned on Hey Mavens! social media accounts from time to time? What does he have to do with getting “fuzz in your thingggggyyyyy”? And what does that even mean???” First of all, your questions and concerns are totally valid. There was a point in time where we were just as confused as you are right now. So have no fear, keep reading to get the inside scoop on all things Velvate Brad…


The origins of Velvate Brad

To set the scene, it was March 2021 and it was just another typical day over here at Hey Mavens!…or so we thought. We recently had been getting a ton of new traction and engagement from some Instagram reels that were performing really well. Well, on this particular day we received a rather odd DM from a random account that, although we didn’t know it at the time, would eventually turn into our favorite DM ever and contribute to this unique and hilarious ongoing inside joke that we get to share with our team, and now you!


The iconic DM


LOTS to unpack here, we know. As a small business that makes handmade velvet lingerie, you can imagine the kind of face that was made in reaction to receiving this gem. It went a little something like this:



First came the confusion. Is this person for realziez?...Did they just use “thingggggyyyyy” as a reference to their genitalia? Did this person just dismantle our entire business plan in one swift, grammatically-challenged message? Honestly, we respect the passion and sense of urgency (although quite unnecessary).


Clearly this person thought the idea of wearing velvet undies was atrocious and that it would cause irritation to your more intimate areas (or thingggggyyyyy as they say).


[Quick Disclaimer:]

Just to clear things up, all of our undies come with cotton linings, like most underwear does, for added protection. Therefore, there’s no need to be concerned. Furthermore, even IF velvet got in your “thinggggyyyyy”, it is not the end of the world nor are your intimate areas at risk for health issues or discomfort. The vagina is a self-cleaning machine and does a good job keeping things running smoothly (with or without velvet undies involved). If you still have concerns, we recommend consulting with a professional physician if you have questions or concerns on these matters, but also, google is free and a quick search could clear a lot of things up. :)


How we handled it


This DM was clearly too ridiculous to take seriously, so we did the opposite. We thought it would be a much better use of our time and energy to take this awkward moment and turn it into something humorous that we could share with everyone. We even went as far to submit the DM screenshot to the hilarious instagram account Small Biz Memes. If you are unaware, Small Biz Memes serves as a comic relief to the community of small business owners who are looking for content that relates to the sometimes outrageous, yet hilarious moments that come with owning and operating your own business. It’s relatable and a great way to turn negativity into something positive and gives the power back to the small business owners. What could be more relatable than Velvate Brad!?


Small Biz Memes shared our submission and it’s safe to say people really enjoyed the chaotic energy this DM gave off, as much as we did.



In fact, commenters loved it so much that Small Biz Memes asked if we wanted to have a sticker made in honor of this iconic Velvate Brad. We made the design and they were able to sell stickers on their patreon. It was a really fun experience and opportunity for Hey Mavens! to be part of the joke and turn something silly into an internet meme that is now so very special to us and our followers.



As a small biz, you won’t always get the best responses, and coming up with responses can be challenging depending on the circumstances. We hope this is a reminder not only to other small business owners, but people in general, that don’t take life too seriously and have fun with it! You can turn something that was meant to be negative into a positive with creativity and a sense of humor.


Running a small business already comes with highs and lows, and lots of uncertainty. Adding in a pandemic that crushed many small businesses and having no certainty that it wouldn’t come back for more, stress is already high enough. So this was a great opportunity for us to embrace the moments of humor amongst the chaos, and take control of the narrative and make it something our brand can share with our customers. 


Will we being seeing more Velvate Brad in the future?


From time to time, we do post some funny content surrounding this joke on our Instagram and TikTok, so if you haven’t already checked us out on those platforms, go do that now!


We won’t share too much, but it’s safe to say Velvate Brad is here to stay as he has become a fan favorite at this point. Expect to see more in the near future, so stay tuned ;)


And if the person who sent us the DM and gave Velvate Brad life is reading this, thank you for your contribution to the Hey Mavens community! We hope you are doing well and keeping all the fuzz out of your thingggy. :)

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